Belated overflow
September was a month that overflowed, so I hope you don’t mind me updating it in a list:
Indonesia’s harsh humid heat left new freckles on my cheeks and a sharp swimsuit line across my body. The underwater world (that you probably saw in my IG stories) was too beautiful to put into words, at least not now.
Back in the UK, the crisp, nose-freezing air is autumn itself, the very scent of London to me. I recalled austice, a made-up word I learned from The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows while writing my postgraduate thesis: a wistful omen of the first sign of autumn—the coolness in shadows, the rustling of dead leaves, geese sweeping overhead like the second hand of a clock.
Fell sick on my birthday evening, a week spent weak in bed.
But I still managed to film my new book Crown Shyness unboxing on its launch day—my publisher said it reached the best-seller rank the next day. I cheered from my sickbed.
On the 28th, my calendar reminded me it was my 8th anniversary in London. I still remember what I wanted to run from—and what I was running toward—when I decided to leave.
One of my mentorships came to an end earlier this year. Over the past year I’ve been sharing with Richard Bevan, artist and tutor at Richmond American University London, how to animate step by step in anime style using Procreate Dreams.
At first it felt a little strange, since Richard had once been my tutor at the RCA. I was flattered (and absolutely terrified) when he asked me to become his animation tutor. But it turned into a fun and rewarding year, thanks to him I even picked up a bit of FX in DaVinci along the way.
I’ve really enjoyed helping him with the project, and here are some of the clips shared on the school account:
My caladiums withered earlier than the trees outside my window, already slipping into dormancy.
My favourite season of autumn/winter fashion finally begins.
Quite literally “Ceptember”—UK woods overflowed with boletes, with foragers still posting their hauls. I dried and jarred mine to savour slowly through the coming year.
Grandpa passed away. I couldn’t find a word in The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows for this feeling—this quiet suspension after loss, when my heart falls hushed while life around me carries on untouched. As with my grandma’s death, grief does not strike in a single blow. It delays, seeping slowly into the days—like autumn shading into winter—until one day I’ll stand bare, face to face with the weight of memory and love.
I asked ChatGPT to coin me a new word. It suggested:
Defolara (from defoliate — to shed leaves, + ara — Latin for altar, a place of reverence)
Autumnor (from autumn + mor — Latin mors, death)
Neither word is perfect, but perhaps language will always falter in capturing feeling and emotion
Which means an unexpected short trip back to Taiwan next week.
Which also means an unexpected in-person book signing, a little brightness in the midst of loss. I’ll be sharing more details on my Instagram soon!
Thank you for pausing here with me. The promised behind-the-scenes of Crown Shyness may have to wait a little longer, as I’ll be catching up on work after returning from Taiwan. I’m grateful for the patience of those who might be waiting.